Humor

Turtles Denied

By Male Muse ⋅ June 7, 2008 ⋅  Email This Post ⋅  Print This Post ⋅ Post a comment

Hot or Not does not like turtles.

I thought I would try my luck with the ladies on Hot or Not. In case you never heard about it Hot or Not is a web site that lets you rate other people, and get yourself rated, on a scale of Hot (10) or Not (1). Your score gets tallied over time by number of votes and you get bragging rights if you get a high score.

If you are a woman and you show some titties you get good scores. I’ve seen a lot of fugly women on Hot or Not showing titties and getting good scores. In other words it’s like Digg except Hot or Not has a little more titties and less Obama vs. Hillary vs. McCain shit. By the way McCain: you suck.

If you are a guy on Hot or Not you’ve got to have your shirt off showing your six pack abs. Those abs get you some nice scores even if your face looks like it was on fire and someone put it out with a pitchfork. Oh yeah, and it doesn’t matter if you are a man or woman if you have a Harley in your picture you get bonus points.

If you surf Hot or Not for a while you also will notice that the fat chicks all take their picture lying down. It seems fat spreads out and becomes invisible when you lie down.

So, what to do. I don’t have titties because I am a guy. OK, so I have a little man boobies, but they don’t count. I also don’t have six pack abs. Instead I have soda and Red Bull belly. It’s not disgusting or anything, but my stomach doesn’t look like I go to the gym three times a day either because I have to frigging work and sitting at a computer isn’t exactly sit ups.
At least my face doesn’t look like someone beat me with a dirty mop.

I knew I was going to have to have some gimmick if I wanted to meet the Hot or Not honeys. I am also not a fan of putting my picture up there in public. I figure if I meet someone who at least seems cool personality wise I can break out the pictures later. If we still want to meet then, cool.

That’s when I got the idea to use the turtle kid picture. Come on, certainly the moderators at Hot or Not don’t know this picture. Maybe some of the members do, but I didn’t think the moderators did.

Well, I was wrong.

Click the images to see a larger view

In case you have no bloody clue what this is all about you can see the original turtle kid in a YouTube video.

Tags: Hot or Not, Turtles Denied