“If that thing had nine lives, it just spent them all.”

A different take on the good old fashioned Christmas tale.

He sees you when you're sleepingHe knows when you’re awakeHe knows when you’ve been spanking monkey? Get the cards at The Onion store.

You better not shoutYou better not cryYou better not pout…and one thing for sure, you better not forget the fucking cookies! Get the cards at The Onion store.